Thursday, April 5, 2012

And Here We Go Once More...Ugh...

Doesn't feel like Thursday. Feels like Saturday since there's no school and Bug's sleeping in...I'll be thrown off for the next week! But, it is indeed Thursday. And I dreamed last night that I was wearing my size eight jeans again and they were all loose and comfy--it was a happy dream...

I've been doing great running-increasing my time and distance, working up my pace and incline. I've even stopped taking Aleve afterward trying to stem off any follow up headaches, and guess what! I haven't had a shred of pain--in my head. The inside of my knees beg to differ...But, thanks to the advice of my friend, Katie, from physical therapy, a few strength exercises, stretches, and the ever hail holy ice pack, that pain's been decreasing. Nothing can keep me from running this round--I'm stoked!

So, I had this dream about my jeans and woke up all confident--surely, certainly, I'd lost weight. I've been running, I've incorporated some of my PT exercises into my strength training routines, I LOOK thinner, a little less muffin top around the jeans...Right? I slipped the scale from the back of the bathroom closet and...I swear that thing is pure, unadulterated EVIL!!! I gained three pounds??? What??!! Seriously, I am hating life right now...

Okay, I know where my downfall is every day--it's eating at night. I can do amazingly well all day, keep on my water, stick to my menu plan, but...after dinner...the pantry just calls to me, haunts me, lures me back to the kitchen against every screaming shred of resistance. Peanut butter. Stirred up with oatmeal and a good splash of chocolate syrup. I know I don't need it. I don't even want it. I'm not hungry. But, I do it anyway. I rationalize: it's whole grain, high fiber, healthy fat, and chocolate--well, chocolate is all over the news as being good and healthy for you. Squirt a little more on there...*Sigh*...Seriously hating life right now...

So...starting over AGAIN this morning. The plan is to lose twenty pounds in ten weeks. No oatmeal/peanut butter/chocolate syrup concoctions at night. Stocking up on fruits and veggies--water, water, water! And this morning I run--hallelujah, I love to run!

On the upside--I did draw again a little yesterday, almost made myself late for the school's party (and I DID set off the metal detector--haha! Cool!) So, not completely hating life--I can do this. I can totally do this...

Must Love God

2 comments:

  1. I could have written this... actually, I probably DID write this the summer after my youngest was born, when I did the couch to 5K and started running.
    I was visibly shrinking, and the fat was melting off of me but the scale DID NOT BUDGE. Not for a single pound.
    I was able to be okay with that for a few months and then it really started to mess with my head.
    So -- know that I DO know what you are dealing with!! But I am excited for you, and man does it make me want to get back out there!!

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