Sunday, September 30, 2012

Sunday Stealing: The End is Near

21. BIGGEST LIE THAT YOU'VE EVER BEEN TOLD? That's a rather negative way to start things off here, don't you think? Biggest lie...I don't know. The lies that bother me most are when my kid lies to me.

22. BLONDES, BRUNETTES, REDHEADS OR BALD? Brunettes or bald. I've never really gone for blondes and there just aren't many good looking redhead guys...

23. WHO DO YOU PHONE MOST? My hubby.

24. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST JOB? Baby/pet sitting. Though I would also sell artwork for cigarette money back in the day...

25. WHAT WERE YOU DOING BEFORE SUNDAY STEALING? This morning? Reading my email, thinking about breakfast...

26. IF YOU COULD GET PLASTIC SURGERY WHAT WOULD IT BE? I wouldn't get plastic surgery. Lasik maybe.

27. WHY DID YOU FILL OUT THIS SURVEY? I obviously have nothing better to do with my time...


29. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF ALCOHOL BECAME ILLEGAL? Go back to sleep. Don't drink, don't care.

30. HOW MANY KIDS DO YOU WANT/HAVE? I have my Bugga and my Ashlee. Is good.

31. DO YOU WISH ON STARS? Of course!

32. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? Sometimes. Lately it's gotten to be so scribbly I have a hard time figuring out just what I wrote...

33. WHEN DID YOU LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY? Way before I should've.


35. DO LOOKS MATTER? Not in the least, it's your heart that matters. Hygiene/body odor--yeah, now there's an issue...

36. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER? I like to break things. Though running is a much healthier outlet.




40. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A MOSH PIT? Nope, can't say that I have...

Saturday, September 29, 2012


I snagged this idea from the blog of a favorite local artist, Marcia Furman. I'm list happy so I couldn't help myself from wanting to play along with her list of all the things she's doing here we go:

Reading: I just finished Little Bee by Chris Cleave. It was pretty good, definitely sucked me in and held me captive til the end. Now I have a panic moment because ALL my other books are packed and I'm not sure which box Feast for Crows is in...what will I read??? Oh Kindle is still sitting on my nightstand with only five hundred plus books on it. I'm good! I'm good...just not any George RR Martin on there...mannnn....

Watching: Greys! Hallelujah! RIP Mark Sloan...oh my gosh, I just bawled yesterday...Second panic moment--our cable won't be hooked up yet at the new house until FRIDAY and I won't be able to DVR "What Really Happened!!!" Yeah, yeah, I can watch it online--and I will. Comcast is hooking us up somewhere around lunchtime on Friday. Oh--second hallelujah--we're getting HBO! (singing HBOOOOOOO!!!!) So I am SET for March 31 when Season Three premieres (yeah, that's Game of Thrones, people!! Aaaahhh!!)

Listening to: Not really anything new...but I guess the best of what I'm listening to is my running playlist--while I'm running! It feels so good to feel happy enough to want to run again. What's on that playlist? A ridiculous schizophrenic mix, but it works for me. Korn, Third Day, Adele, some Rusted Root, Nickleback, David Crowder, Primus, Miley Cyrus, Lady's all over the place! Pandora channels for tangling time! I have an instrumental channel which started with Ludovico Einaudi and somehow progressed to include Harry Potter soundtracks (go figure how that ever got in there! But they're so fun to listen to!) and then I started another channel of ocean waves and whale songs to transport me north to them both!

Thinking about: Moving, of course, and just how the ride's gonna go. Whew!! And planning the Blueberry Loft! Okay, that probably won't happen until next least getting it started anyway. That'll be a project! (The Loft is going to be my art studio above the garage...) Seeing my love!! Ray's Pizza for our first dinner in MA on Thursday! My toes in the ocean!

Loving: Zentangle and Zendalas-that has been such a beautiful escape for me this year. These last moments with my friends. That this nightmare of a year is almost behind us!!

Looking forward to: Getting settled and being with Bill's family (and Bill! We have nine months to catch up on!!) The ocean! Fall in New England, followed shortly thereafter by the holidays!

Making me happy: That's kind of the same as Loving above...Bug...I can't get over that he's eleven and he's been super sweet and helpful lately, and polite! It catches me off guard when he says thanks for something I've done and I didn't prompt him to say it. That feels really awesome...being appreciated. And the leaves starting to change--I love fall, the weather, the colors, that light nip in the air. And candy corn pumpkins--aahhh!!!

What are you doing currently?

Thanks Marcia!

Saturday 9: Nobody Knows You When You're Down and Out

1. When did you last feel down and out? What--this entire year waiting to move and not having my hubby around at all?
2. What do you do to feel sexy? I just am, don't really need to do anything special...
3. Do you think people think you are normal? No...and if they do then they're certainly not normal...
4. What have you always wanted to do? Always? Eat all I wanted and not gain an ounce of weight
5. What do you appreciate the most about your life at this time? Being able to stay home and take care of my Bug and play around with art and writing.
6. If you could be somewhere else, where would you be and why? New Bedford because all of this moving insanity would be behind us! Soon, my friends, so very soon!! Then I can whine about something else--aren't you excited??
7. Have you ever made a fool of yourself? If yes, spill. Oh my goodness, like on a daily basis...but such is my life...
8. How often do you feel guilty? Monthly when I eat too much chocolate or ice cream or potato chips...the joys of womanhood...
9. Give us an example of what you’ve done when feeling low self-esteem. Eaten too much chocolate, ice cream, or potato chips?

Friday, September 28, 2012

It's Happening

Over nine months in, it's finally happening. Our closing is scheduled, the movers are lined up, and my heart is racing with the reality. I get to see my husband on Tuesday and we pull out of Butler in less than a week...I hardly slept last night, feeling like a little kid at Christmas--it's here, it's finally here!! I have a feeling I won't sleep much at all this coming week as the day draws nearer, but that's okay-I can sleep in MA!

I've already begun listing all the places I want to go and things I want to do when we first get there and texting Bill with each one:
toes in the ocean
Portuguese soup
the whaling museum
the New Bedford Merchant (my favorite store in town!)...

Okay, the museum and Merchant can wait a little bit--they're not going anywhere...but they are two of my favorite things in New Bedford. I'm sure I'll find a hundred  more favorite little places once we're there and settled and we can go off exploring on the weekends. I'll have my hubby home on the weekends! That's not happened since we left Ohio almost eight years ago! Wow...

I'm so excited about the drive up--could the timing be more perfect? The leaves should be simply magnificent, more brilliant the further north we get...Making a note to charge my camera battery for the ride! Got the foliage map--and downloading their foliage map app! I am set to see me some leaves!!

Packing up a few odds and ends yet around the house, though there's not too much left. There's certainly no food left in the house other than for the dogs and birds...and Bug's hit a growth spurt and all he wants to do is eat! I need to stock up on road snacks too before we get going...a-Walmart-ing I shall go! Here we go, people!!!

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Sunday Stealing: The Sparkling Beach Meme: Part One

1. Ever been given or received an engagement ring? Yes.

2. Longest relationship? My marriage, twelve years in March.

3. Last gift you received? Birthday presents in July (Dance with Dragons!!!!)

4. Ever dropped a mobile phone? Daily, and usually multiple times daily...

5. When's the last time you worked out? Ran a few miles yesterday

6. Thing(s) you spend a lot of money on? Art supplies

7. Last food you ate? A bomb pop

8. First thing you notice about the opposite sex? Eyes.

9. One favorite song? Coming Undone by Korn--can't stop running when that hits the cue...

10. Where do you live? Butler, PA but only for another week or so (give or take a day or two...yay!!!)

11. High school attended: Penn Hills Senior High

12. Cell phone provider: Verizon

13. Favorite shop: Michaels (or Amazon but Amazon's not really a shop, right?)

14. Longest job: I think it was Liberty Publishing...but I can't remember how long I worked there anymore...

15. Do you own a smart phone? Why? No, Verizon won't let me upgrade yet and by the time I'm allowed to upgrade I'll be switching to AT&T--and getting my smart phone then! Ha Verizon!!

16. Do you prank call people? Really? My phone accidentally calls people but that's not really prank calling....

17. Last wedding you attended? Bill's best friend's daughter, Allison's wedding, two years ago--and now they're having a baby!!

18. First friend you'd call if you won the lottery: MISSY!!!

19. Last time you saw your best friend(s) Missy yesterday, Diane Thursday, Jenn last Saturday
20. Favorite fast food Restaurant: Does Sheetz count? It's not really a restaurant...but they serve fast food...??

And now I can get on with my zendala....Happy Sunday folks!!

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Saturday 9: Papa Was a Rolling Stone

Meme time is back!! Or at least this morning anyways...Bug is sleeping over at his buddies' house and I woke up at three with no real chance of going back to sleep, so hey! Time for the Saturday 9!!

Saturday 9: Papa Was a Rolling Stone

1. What’s the best memory that you have of your dad, while growing up? Omigosh...there are so many...One of my favorites though was a Girl Scout Father/Daughter camping weekend and we were trying to make Black Forest cake over the fire. First, we forgot to take the pits out of the cherries--but it didn't matter because Dad melted our pan in the fire and the whole thing was just burned beyond any chance of being edible...We laughed about that for years and years after. My dad--he was the BEST!!

2. How boring do you think your life is? Completely and utterly beyond boring. I'm a stay at home mom who goes nowhere, ever. Snooze fest.

3. Can you do any accents? If not, do you know someone who is good at it? I can do hick Tennessee pretty well after living there for five years, and a pretty good British accent after watching Harry Potter eight hundred bazillion times...

4. What technology did you at first fear that you now could not live without? Cell phones. I didn't 'fear' them, I just didn't see the necessity of them. I am overwhelmed by Blackberries but my hubby has one so they must not be too terribly difficult. I WANT the Samsung Galaxy Note...but I'm stuck with stupid Verizon for another year yet--bah!!!

5. Do you, or have you ever, thought you have a book in you? No. See #2.

6. How does the weather effect where you live? I keep moving north for more snow...

7. Are you more interested in you favorite artist’s next work, or the TMZ side of it all? What the heck is TMZ????

8. Have you ever felt “battled-scarred” by a relationship or relationships in general? If yes, do tell. All relationships leave scars, some worse than others. There are plenty of battle scars here, they're just nun-ya' bizniss...
9. Do you tend to root for the bad guy? It depends on the bad guy. The one that disturbed me most was Woody Harrelson and Juliette Lewis in Natural Born Killers. I was totally rooting for the bad guys by the end of the movie and just absolutely shocked that I could have that response. The Hatfields and the McCoys earlier this year--Devil Anse was crazy bad, but in the end I wanted him to destroy the McCoys--I guess that was a double bad guy scenario....Then reading the Song of Fire and Ice series by George RR Martin, one of the main bad guy characters all of a sudden has a heart and begins to redeem himself so I want to root for him, even after so much of what he's done is completely unforgivable...But most of the time, no, I don't think I cheer for the bad guys. Like, terrorists. Totally wouldn't cheer for terrorists. And I've never rooted for Voldemort. You have to draw the line somewhere.

Friday, September 14, 2012

Five Minute Friday: Focus

Focus. My mind is a swimming, swirling mess of lists, after thoughts, pre-thoughts, things I need to tell Bill, folks I need to call, rooms, shelves, cupboards, drawers to be packed, plans for here, plans for there, utilities to schedule turning on, turning off, school/medical/dental/veterinary records that all need collected and transferred, appointments pending for inspections, sewage tests, and more, more, more...There's other lists I still need to make, Michael's birthday party I need to plan, shop for, and schedule, and I still don't have an exact date for this move. I need an exact date. But we're still waiting on paperwork from Tennessee. I can't sleep at night for all this mess churning restlessly in my head.

Focus? I find little moments throughout the day to stop. Sit. Breathe a prayer. Head in hands and the swirling chaos subsides for a few seconds. He is in there, waiting, holding me up, keeping me together. Little pieces slide together, the puzzle picture slowly showing an occasional glimpse-almost there...almost there...In these moments, I find my focus, in Him.

Find rest, O my soul, in God alone;
my hope comes from Him.
He alone is my rock and my salvation;
He is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
~ Psalm 62: 6-7


Five Minute Friday

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Dark is Lifting

I've lost words this year. They seem to have run out on me. I've just gotten quieter and quieter, shutting in on myself. Anger, depression do that to you. And I've wallowed in so much of that this year. Ugly darkness. And now that the dark is finally lifting, I wonder-will the words come back?

I dream of beautiful poetic sentences-delicately, gracefully wrapped paragraphs, words painting pictures of light. That's how I want to write...

So, we're finally moving in a few short weeks. I still struggle to believe it's actually happening. Nine months. How fast it went, even as long as it's painfully dragged out. And now fall is upon us, leaves hinting at the beauty that is to come. Excitement sparks deep inside...

I found a running group in New Bedford a while ago-so excited about that and starting to train again. I'd like to run a 5k this fall, an 8 or 10k in spring. Could I manage a half marathon this time next year? Then, just now as I looked up the New Bedford library website, I discovered they have a writing group! Zentangle certification seminars are a hop, skip, and a jump away in Providence. Providence-how prophetic. God is good...

"For I know the plans I have for you,”
declares the Lord,
“plans to prosper you and not to harm you,
plans to give you hope and a future."
~Jeremiah 29:11

Monday, September 10, 2012

A Little Melancholy Monday

My mom stopped by yesterday. It was a nice surprise. She usually doesn't like to drive this far but she'd brought me some nice big, sturdy boxes for moving. We had a good visit and I was even a little teary after she'd left again. After all, we'd come home to be closer to her and we've hardly seen her at all these past two and a half years. And tomorrow she's swinging by the cemetery for my brother's birthday. That was one thing I wanted to do before we left-I wanted to stop by my father's grave one last time. But I won't make it tomorrow and I most likely won't get down to Pittsburgh before we leave. But I tell myself, he's not really there anyway...I'd just be saying good-bye to a stone marking where his body was laid four years ago. He, himself, is not there.

I miss my dad. I've been doing all this drawing and tangling lately and I know he'd love it. That was the gift we shared, our art. I'd love to show him Zentangle and watch him give it a try--I think he'd be really great at it. He always drew so clean and precise-he would master Zentangle in a flash. Mom also gave me Dad's oil paint set. I'm sure the paints are way past being any good, but just to have that case and his brushes, that piece of pure treasure. Who knows, maybe I'll take some oil painting classes after we get settled and channel Dad's spirit, sitting on the beach watching the waves roll in with sea gulls chasing overhead, grains of sand blowing into the paint and adding a little extra texture...

I wonder what he would think about us moving to New England. If he were still alive, surely he'd be excited to have an excuse to come up and visit, go fishing in the bay or take a boat out on the ocean and drop a line or two there. Maybe find a golf course and play a couple rounds with Bill.

I worry about leaving Mom again. But, she's fine. So independent, like her mother was after my grandfather had died. Couldn't keep that woman down and Mom's the same way. She's already planning her Florida trip, most likely counting the days--she's so much happier there. I don't know why she doesn't just stay. Sell her house here and stay where she's happy. Maybe some day. That has to be her decision--no one could ever tell her what she ought to do...but maybe some day...

Now I'm looking forward to spending time with Bill's family. I can't even remember the last time I was up there! He's gone a handful of times without Michael and me the past few years. Couldn't always afford both the airfare and boarding the dogs, so he'd go and visit himself. Michael barely knows his cousins there, like he hardly knew his cousins here. Too many years living too far away. And now that Sissie is there as well, he'll really be happy--finally all of us together again as we should've been all along. It's gonna be so good!

So, continuing counting to 1000 gifts this morning:

583. Finding 'lost treasure' (more watercolor pencils and Gelly Roll pens!) in my old stash of art goodies
584. Corn and Hot Dog Roast at church (need I mention all the yummy desserts??!! Aaahhh!)
585. Our pastor playing Gaga Ball with the kids

586. Garden fresh tomato sammies--the very best of summer!
587. The new house passed inspection with flying colors!
588. Morning running again---aaahhh!
589. Coffee time with the girls
590. Another big bucket of tomatoes (Missy loves me!)
591. Playing with new watercolors and colored pencils
592. Coffee in the angel mug my dad gave me a long, long time ago-now he's my angel

593. Received my first ATC from our Zia group swap! (Realizing there really should be a picture here, it's beautiful!)
594. Rain, rain, rain...I'm so feeling the rain this week.
595. Beautiful cool fall temps at last
596. Leaves just beginning to sneak some color
597. Nice visit with Mom
598. My first Dangle is done! I like it! (Dangles are a little spin off of sorts of Zentangle, created by artist Joanne Fink)
This week's Idea Journal page, thought I'd try a Dangle...I could've probably added more, but then I wouldn't have anywhere to write my plans for the week!
Care to count with us?

Monday, September 3, 2012

September Already

So I've been gone a little while...The end of summer became a bitter pill to swallow knowing Michael would have to start school here rather than in his new school up north, and also realizing he and I would be celebrating his birthday alone here as well. This has gotten to be almost more than I can take. I was mad at Bill, then I wasn't mad at Bill--this time apart wasn't his intention. A lot of tears. Houses came and went up in MA. Nothing seemed to be falling into place. I don't understand why this has been so difficult this time. Then offer Bill made on a house there was accepted at last. It may not be until the end of the month, or even the very beginning of October, but we will finally have our family together again-Sissie included...for good. Clouds were lifting--hallelujah!

It's hard to write when you're in that dark place. I'm actually amazed that I've been tangling and painting, though that's been such a needed diversion. Bug went off to school and the house got quiet. I started packing again. I've been trying to reconfigure what my morning and daily schedule will look like after we move since school starts an hour earlier up north, and I will have to drive him there and pick him up every day. But, that's a good problem to mull over and it will sort itself out once we're there and settled. All in time...

I had also shut myself off to the good things God was still pouring into my life. I wasn't going to be thankful when I was so busy hurting and feeling resentful. But then I started the Hello Mornings challenge at Inspired to Action, and the Bible study we're doing on 1 Peter began softening my heart again. That God...He doesn't let go. Thank goodness! So, I started keeping track again--a little bit. I plan to do better this week.

575. A little (50% off) retail therapy at Michaels (my happy place!) to get a gorgeous set of Derwent Inktense Watercolor pencils--they are divine!
576. Finally!! Under contract for a house in MA, two and a half miles from Bill's sister's house (I could run there!) Light at the end of this long, long tunnel....We're almost there!
577. A free celebratory latte at Sheetz (I love that place!)
578. A long overdue morning run
579. An impromptu showing over the weekend that I pray will produce an offer
580. Cool, cool rain
581. The distractions of zentangle and other art challenges and now Christmas planning (yay! It'll be here before you know it!! Trust me, I've gotten to be an expert on time flying this year...)
582. Planning, planning, planning for the new house and ready to count down the days until we're there.

So swing on over to Ann's place at Holy Experience and link up with  your own list of thankfulness and print out the new September Joy Dare. As Ann says, "Happy Blessed September! Best month yet?" I think so...I think so.