Saturday, June 2, 2012

Day Two: TSO7

I don't know if this challenge is a good idea for an OCD maniac like me. I obsess about food on any given day. It's only the morning of day two and I've mentally ran through our pantry inventory somewhere around a thousand times, trying somewhat unsuccessfully to reassure myself it will be enough. My heart races over each meal--will it all last? You'd think I'd experienced some form of poverty or starvation in my life, worrying over this rationing. I've never missed a meal, other than self-imposed anorexia in my younger more messed up days.

I think it's simply a spiritual attack. To make me give up. I fail miserably over Lent every year. Forty days is a long time and I'm a weak person when rattled with my insidious obsessions--because what I can't have becomes an immediate up front and center obsession until I make myself crazy and relent. Then begins the self-loathing, guilt bathing aftermath...Yeah, I'm a wreck.

But isn't that how the enemy gets to us? He sneaks into our heads and starts poking around. He knows our weaknesses. He whispers those taunts in our darkness. And our resolve begins to waver.

Seriously?? It's day TWO!! And I only have seven to get through! I can do this. Jen went thirty days on her food restriction. Jesus fasted forty. I can handle seven. And Alene, I'm going with the coffee. Beverages aren't really food (aside from milk--darn it! Okay, no milk in my outside coffee. Is Cremora food??) and coffee dates are my therapy. I have to hold it together somehow!

Laud and praise: I DIDN'T get the free donut at Walmart yesterday.
Confession: I may have to stop and get Bug some cereal today as he has really nothing else to eat breakfast wise. Poor planning on my part and he didn't volunteer for this challenge. I've wracked my brain trying to come up with some other solution--make him pancakes? No eggs. I didn't buy eggs...really?? I considered making him rice to eat for breakfast--he loves rice but is he gonna want to eat it every morning for the next five days? I will ask him before we scoot off to the grocery store in search of cereal...And if we do have to go to the store, it will ONLY be for cereal!!

I can do this...

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