Monday, January 9, 2012

Leaving Again

Bill heads to Rochester this week to continue training. Bug and I will prepare for another bowling tournament--the annual In-House scholarship tournie is this weekend. He did pretty well at yesterday's doubles tournament. He would've done better if he hadn't let the pressure get to him...Saturday is also the final Pepsi qualifying window. Fingers crossed, fingers crossed!! But I think we'll head to the alley after school on Wednesday again, let him bowl a few games and continue to build some more confidence with his new ball.

As for me, I'm beginning to mentally prepare for the coming move. I think I've gone through some sort of grieving process...Mild denial as Bill interviewed for his new position--is this really gonna happen again??? A bout of depression as the reality sunk in of having to say good-bye to another group of friends. Anger took over for a little while...Having abandonment issues from being adopted, things get pretty stirred up as Bill takes off for his new job and Michael and I are left behind to deal with life on our own as well as managing packing and selling the house here...again...Yeah...little angry...But now as I face the challenge of weeding out and decluttering and collecting boxes for packing, I can focus on what I need to do and getting that job done. Having something to actually do helps shift from anger to motivation, knowing at some point this will all finally be behind us and then what will I fuss about??

While Bill's gone, I like to steal his bathrobe and wear his jackets...something to make me feel still attached to him in a sense, I guess. If anything ever happened to him, heaven forbid, I'd most likely bury myself in his closet and refuse to come out...The dogs all miss him, too. Sweet Pea clings to me every minute of the day for fear I might disappear as well. Tucker listens intently for the garage door opener and watches vigilantly out the front window, even paces a while at bedtime without Daddy here before he'll finally settle down and climb in bed. But once Bill walks in the door for the weekend, they're both fine again and life resumes back to normal for a couple days, anyway. At least Ruby isn't awake enough through the day to even notice someone's missing...poor old thing! Wish I could just sleep through the whole ordeal!!

The Tucker curl--who could ask for a better pillow??

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