Wednesday, August 17, 2011

For Kathy

Well, we got some sad news this morning through my mom’s cousin’s Caring Bridge page. Her daughter posted a message stating that Kathy has been in the hospital fighting pneumonia on top of her lung cancer and the oncologists have told the family that there’s nothing more they can do for her. They are making preparations for hospice now and Kathy has opted to forego anymore treatment. She has fought a brave battle, with such strong spirit--you couldn’t help but hope she would pull through this victorious. But, unfortunately, cancer is claiming yet another victim.

I went off to run after reading this news, hoping to clear my head and shake off the blues. Running has a good way of tapping into your heart though, and instead of erasing the sadness, it made me realize something else. So many years I spent resenting being given up for adoption, hating my birthmother for not loving me and my sister enough to keep us together as a family, angry at the years I’d lost not having my sister or brother in my life. This morning, though, I thought of the family I wouldn’t have known had I not been adopted. My dad, who passed away almost three years ago from lung cancer, is still a huge anchor in my life even though he’s gone. Memories flood my heart with love and laughter--what a wonderful gift he was and always will be in my life. My two sister-in-laws, my nieces, and nephew--kindness, unbelievable talent, beauty and brilliance wrapped up in that crazy bunch! My Aunt Marion who is a radiant beam of sunshine and love in anybody’s life who is lucky enough to know her, and Kathy--sweet, kind, funny, and loving, just like her mom, my Great-Aunt Katherine…All these precious people and so many more I never would’ve gotten to know if I hadn’t been adopted into their family. I love them all and am so thankful for all they’ve been in my life.

And now, how lucky am I that I’ve been granted the gift of having my birth family back! I have my sister and brother, their spouses and kids, my uncle, aunt and cousins, filling in those empty spots in my heart from so many years ago! God has been so good to me, so good indeed. I am blessed!

So, I will not be sad, well, I will, but I will also be happy for the gifts of love God has given me in this life in both of these families and when I think of Kathy, I will remember her beautiful spirit, her strength and the light in her smile and be thankful she, too, was a wonderful part of my life.

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