Thankful Tuesday

I am in complete denial that we are this far along in the month (year!!) already--seriously? It's almost June and, for the life of me, I have no idea where this year has gone. End of the year school activities are filling up the calendar--we had our field trip last week, tomorrow is Bug's Shining Star Lunch day (I get to go have lunch with my Love Bug), Field Day is Friday (they get to play games and eat junk food all day...) and, if I dare to blink, school will be out for summer...Then there's camp and swim lessons and play dates...I just realized this weekend how much I need to get organized to get my little one ready to go to camp and I laughed wondering how much of all this stuff will actually make it home again--probably not very much! And I cried thinking how I'll miss him all week long while he's off having fun--I just pray I get the tears out of my system before he goes so I don't blubber all over him when I drop him off. I certainly don't want him thinking about me being sad without him (yeah, right--he'll be too wound up and having the time of his life to worry about his MOM!!)

I'm also struggling this week to keep up the happy. It's frustrating to still be sitting here and I'm beginning to stew in some anger and depression. It's tempting to binge and more tempting to shirk chores out of resentment. I didn't weed at all and the front bed is starting to look rather jungle-ly and I don't care. The more I look at it, the angrier I get that we're still here. It's the whole 'out of my control' thing that makes this all so hard. I can't fix this, I can't make it go any faster and I want to scream. But I can recognize my struggling and try to get a grip on it before it takes over. I will weed today and I will stick to my meal plan and hopefully spend some time tangling this afternoon--that's always a good escape for an hour or two. And I will continue to count my thankfuls:

#372. The jingle of Loki playing with his ball
#373. Avocado oatmeal mask and a bubbly soak in the tub
#374. An easy week of light chores
#375. Another showing
#376. Good test results, the heart looks good!
#377. A chance to recommend Dr. Curran to a new patient--she is the best!!
#378. Laughing with my honey in the morning
#379. Pretty purple cooler for the school field trip-yay!
#380. Feeling happy in spite of no weight loss (at least for a little while...)
#381. Lutherlyn!! and a bus full of crazy loud nine and ten year olds
#382. A black snake and a pickerel frog
#383. Hiking through the woods with fifteen wide eyed, curious kids (who, apparently don't get to spend a whole lot of time hiking through the woods...)
#384. And another showing
#385. Spending the afternoon at Alameda playing with friends and enjoying the beautiful sunshine
#386. New Thirty-One bag ridiculously reduced (MINE!!!) and groovy Christian T's
#387. Thoroughly soaked boys laughing silly squirting each other from fountain filled water balloons
#388. Wrapping presents up pretty

#389. Spicy ketchup--I'm hooked!!

#390. Two volunteer cucumber plants growing wild in what used to be the garden (the questions remain: Will they survive Tucker? Will we be here to see any cucumbers from them?)
#391. New tangle challenges (who needs to clean??)
#392. Time with friends and making tentative summer plans
#393. This guy who comes to visit every day to eat the helicopter seeds out of our flower box:

I shall call him Squishy, and he shall be mine, and he shall be my Squishy....

For more thankful thoughts, jump over and visit Mama:Monk Micha's blog here.