Thursday, May 10, 2012

Accountability Thursday

I worried I wouldn't lose this week. I stepped on the scale Tuesday and I hadn't budged an ounce. I beat myself up for the syrup I had poured all over that extra thick pancake at camp on Sunday. I had a bite of chocolate leftover from Michael's Easter bunny that's hidden in the spice cupboard. I wasn't keeping up with my water like I should've. Otherwise, my calories were in line. I ran and did strength training opposite days all week. I was afraid I'd hit a plateau. Oh please, not a plateau this early in the game!

I pulled out the scale this morning, ready for the worst, and ready to beat myself up for the day and the coming week because no one else is to blame if I didn't lose--or worse, gained! Like everything else these days, it's all on my own two shoulders...and that's a heavy burden, my friends...heavy indeed.

Fortunately, I was down a half pound--whew!! Slowly inching my way there bit by bit. I'd like it to go faster. I'm four pounds behind my goal of where I should be by now...I should've already bought the next two goal rewards...I just don't know what else I can do to make it go quicker and still do this in a healthy manner. I may as well not do it if I'm not going to do it right. Results be what they may, I have to keep on plugging.

This thought occurred to me the other day during my morning run: You don't do yourself any favors if you quit. Yeah, I get all profound and deep when I'm running--it's a very inspirational experience. But, it's true. If you quit, you lose. And I'm not ready to give up the fight. Half a pound or zero pounds, I'm not gaining and that in itself is a positive reflection on my efforts. I need to be happy right there.

I'd also like to ask for a few prayers over my heart today. I go for my echocardiogram tomorrow morning to find out what's going on with my heart murmur, and to see if I'll need to follow up with a TEE or go see a cardiologist. I will post the results as soon as I know anything. Thanks in advance for your prayers!

Must Love God

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