Today is a holiday but I feel far from celebrating anything. Michael did something yesterday that still has my head and my heart reeling. Something I never would have imagined he would do, I never would have believed he'd have the heart, or rather, the lack of heart, to do. He kicked Tucker in the face. Very intentionally. I watched him and my heart broke when his foot hit my puppy's sweet face. Michael kept taunting Tucker, teasing him, trying to get him to come close enough to get a good swing in. Finally, Tucker came in and Michael's foot swung out. I heard the impact and watched Tucker's head roll before he took off running in the opposite direction. I, for the life of me, can't begin to understand where this act of cruelty would come from. I screamed immediately for Michael to come inside. Yes, I paddled him--call child services. I threw away toys. I grounded him from the computer and deleted his Facebook page and he is not going to be celebrating his birthday this month. I'm still sitting here crying at the thought of what he did, sick to my stomach that my child could do something so cruel like that. Boys may be boys, but this is beyond a 'boy thing' in my book.
I'm at a loss. Completely. There is no punishment enough to rectify what he did. When I asked him why he did it, all I got was his typical response of "I don't know." I spent a while online this morning, researching punishments for ten year olds--obviously whatever we've been doing hasn't been working very well. One thing he's going to start doing is feeding the dogs every day so he learns not only how to properly care for animals, rather than abuse them, but to learn some responsibility as well. I'm also making him start to run with me. Running is excellent discipline, physically and mentally. And he's lost all privileges he would've otherwise had this month.
I'm praying. Praying for enlightenment and guidance in how to handle this. Praying for a change of heart for Michael, that whatever is in him that would make him do this, would be brought to light and changed. Praying for a better day today. Feel free to pray with us, we can certainly use all the help we can get.