Our Adventure Geocaching

I wrote a little the other day about Geocaching and our less than successful day at trying to complete our first GeoChallenge...But then Tuesday we were invited by our dear friends, the Greens, to accompany them for an afternoon of assured success going geocaching. They've been doing this for years and have a couple dozen or more cache finds under their belts. All we needed was a little help in learning what to look for and Jenn and her two boys, JJ and Shane, were confident they could be our guides and get us heading in the right direction.

Jenn has the Geocaching app on her iPhone which is a huge help. It pulls up your current location and then pinpoints nearby caches, giving brief descriptions of what to look for and how difficult each cache might be to find regarding the terrain and how well they're hidden.

Our first find was originally hidden by Jenn at the end of their lane, so that was a fairly easy cache for us newbies. Inside the coffee container is a bunch of little toys, called swag, that you can choose an item from and in exchange leave a new small trinket for someone else to claim when they find the cache. Michael thought this was incredible fun--real life treasure hunting!

 Swapping out the swag

After locating our first cache, we piled in Jenn's car and headed to the Butler Freeport Historic GeoTrail, where twenty historical caches have been hidden along the twenty-one mile long trail, as well as many other independent caches are also hidden. Here we found four more caches!

 Coyles Station-a historic cache. All our other finds were independent caches.

 JJ found A Bug's Life

 My first find!! New Years 'O9--this was a toughie!

 Shane found Playdoh Anyone?

 A mug shot from the boys

 Not a cache, but an awesome trail dog find! He loved the boys but was leary of us adults...

Heading home after a successful afternoon's adventure in geocaching!

So now that we're more in tuned about what to look for when we're out geocaching, Bug and I most certainly will give adventuring on our own another shot--and look forward to more hunting fun with friends as well!! Check out the Geocaching website and no doubt you'll find caches hidden almost in your backyard. Grab a few coordinates, grab the kids and your GPS and give it a try! You never know what you might find!

Happy Birthday Tucker!

Tucker McFinigan is one year old today!



The day we brought you home

Naps are better with a friend

 Didn't take you long to take charge

You found yourself in unlikely places

You learned how to share

 You made yoga look easy

You outgrew your pillow (then you ate it)

The injustice of it all!!

Sibling rivalry rears its ugly head

Fun under the bed

Fun on top of the bed burying chewies for safe keeping (before he learned of the possibility of toilet stashing!)

Fun without a bed

Your first Christmas--and you didn't eat the tree!! Good boy!

You learned the joys of cooking...if only the counter was a wee bit narrower!!

Neighborhood Cat Detection Watch

It's a dog's life

Happy First Birthday Tucker--we love you!!!

Sweet puppy dreams...

A Thankful Tuesday

I'm running a week and a day late since I had stopped writing for a pause last week. I contemplated adding my list of gifts to yesterday's post, but babbled on so long about a day gone awry...Just today would be a better place to jump back in with gratitude and a breath...start fresh.

But before I count, I'm humbled by the love in my life--from my husband and son, friends, fuzzy, feathered pets, and, of course, from God. Poured over, covered completely, held up and held together in this life giving, heart filling love...so thankful for you all!

Counting on to 1000 Gifts:
171. Short school week, long weekend to play
172. A new Harry!

173. More new books--oh my!

174. Cleared to run--at last!

175. A day at home to catch up

176. Squash and peas-yum!

177. First phlox blooming bright

 

178. Stronger, farther run with no headache after--hope!!

179. A day warm enough for yard work

180. Dinner with chopsticks-penne with salmon and shrimp

181. Two more showings!

182. Electronic shopping lists

183. Steaming chamomile tea

184. Temperance when I feel weak

185. Perfect rainy day lunch (a lot of my thanks are for food...hmmm!)

186. Chores done early, head start on tomorrow

187. Prayers from and for friends

188. Rain soft on skylights

189. Game of Thrones in my mailbox!! 

190. Half day of school for Bug

191. Gorgeous Great Pyrennees at the vet's

192. Taxes DONE! Refund cometh

193. Our boys made second place in the Roll Offs! Go Team Eight!

194. Homemade spicy white bean soup for dinner--enough to last a week!

195. First robin spotted on the lawn

196. Letter from India

197. Coffee date with the gurlz and a french toast bagel (still with the food!)

198. Early morning birdsong

199. Fresh warm air and spring sunshine

200. Windows open on the back porch for a showing

201. Fresh breezes blowing through

202. "Cardboard Only" dumpsters (hunting for boxes to pack for moving...)

203. Turning the furnace OFF! and it's only March!

204. Brodie beak peeking between bars to snitch morning kisses

205. Bug and Tuck morning wrestling

206. Naming bones and giggling

207. Amazing fish fry dinner at St Fidelis! So full, probably don't need to eat for a week...

208. Three bowling trophies--what a great season! Go Bug!

209. Letter to Kiran

210. St Patty silliness

211.. Free Sheetz latte!

212. Running buddy and Mint M&M's!!

213. Spit battles--probably a thing only moms of boys would get...

214. Hot shower after sweaty PT---aaahhh!!

215. Daffodils blooming golden

And...drum roll....

216. Best anniversary gift: Hubby flying home for the weekend to celebrate eleven years!! Dancing in the clouds!!

Always thankful....

Feels Like Falling Apart

I tried yesterday. I wanted to spend the afternoon adventuring with Michael in spite of storms threatening. We needed a day, just us, to play, explore, do something new. I really tried.

Have you ever heard of geocaching? It's sort of like treasure hunting. There's a website, Geocaching.com, where you can plug in your location and it will pull up literally hundreds of hidden 'caches' close to wherever you might be--all around the world! The site will give you the coordinates of each cache and often a clue so you have a hint of where to look and you're off! Happy hunting! Well, Michael and I have tried this game several times to no avail. We are not good treasure seekers. We've not been able to find a single cache.

But over the weekend while making plans to try again with friends who are seasoned successful cache seekers, I discovered a new app for geo-challenges! I'm always a sucker for a challenge! The app connects to the Geocaching website and instead of finding hidden items, it gives you coordinates and a task to complete instead--this is definitely up my alley.

So, I planned to attempt our first challenge adventure yesterday afternoon, after church and lunch, then the afternoon was ours to tackle the task at hand. Our specified location was a park some twenty-five miles away, the task: to complete one full lap of the walking trail around the perimeter of the park and find the swimming pool, pavilions, soccer field and the south restrooms, earning bonus points for sitting on one of the park benches. Simple enough, right? I thought we'd take Tucker along since it had been a while that he'd been out and about with us. I figured he'd enjoy a nice stroll around the park as well.

Off we went. There was a possibility of thunderstorms in the forecast but the sky looked promising enough-I just wanted to go enjoy what we could of our day. In our rush to leave, I didn't give Tucker his ginger snap cookie before we left. He gets car sick and the ginger soothes his stomach when we take him for a ride. But I figured it'd been at least a good six hours since he'd had breakfast, surely he wouldn't get sick. Wrong. He threw up. Three times. Sat in the back and drooled, whimpering in his discomfort. So sorry Buddy!! Then when we arrived at our challenge destination, what do I see but big signs prohibiting pets in the park!! Really?? This was not how I had hoped our day would go.

What to do? The sun was still out. The dog had already emptied his tummy all over the back of the car, did we really want to throw in the towel and just call it quits? Hecks no! We decided to take our adventure elsewhere--pooh on this silly No Pets Allowed Challenge!! (They really need to post these details before you waste your time driving out of your way--ugh!) So we headed instead to Moraine State Park. I knew for a fact dogs, on leashes, were certainly allowed. We'd go walk a trail there and call it Challenge Completed--the main point, to me, after all, was to get out and enjoy some fresh air and a little exercise together, not really finding swimming pools and soccer fields or sitting on park bences.

Okay, I'm not the world's most affluent navigator. If I didn't have a GPS, I wouldn't venture further than Walmart. I knew we could get to Moraine and find a trail. I was just a little worried about getting too turned around and not finding my way back home (even though I still have said GPS...just how my disturbed mind thinks...) So we get to the park and see a sign for the Hilltop Trail. That sounds good. We'll go there. (Mind you, the last time I said a certain trail name sounded good--Chimney Top in Frozen Head State Park--it had us lost in the mountains for several hours, scaling ridiculously hazardous paths barely hanging on to the mountain face and we ended up having to be rescued by the park rangers after we'd hiked some fourteen miles from where we'd parked--without water or food or map to aid us....bad, bad memories...)

This is how my luck was running yesterday. We pull in to the parking lot for the trail head, help a reluctant Tucker out of the back of the car and try scooping out as much of his mess with McDonald's napkins from the glovebox, then...then...notice the bright yellow sign tacked to the trail marker that the area was currently open to hunting and, if you wanted to attempt the hike, they recommended wearing flourescent clothes so you could "be seen and be safe." Neither of us were wearing flourescent colors, Tucker's reverse brindle blends in to our backyard so well I have trouble spotting him out the kitchen window most days. Getting shot was not a challenge I was willing to take on, sun holding off storms or not. This simply was not our day...

Three sad faces piled back in the car and headed home. I knew at least the ABCFamily Harry Potter weekend was still running. I made a date with the couch after I took the time to scrub the carpet in the back of my Kia. So our first geo-challenge was an epic failure. Tomorrow, however, not to be deterred, we have plans to try geocaching with our more successful hunter friends, hoping to get a good cache or two under our belts with their help, and to bolster our hopes of doing this on our own some day. If our luck will just run a little more in our favor...*sigh*

A Really Not So Bad Day

So, I did great yesterday, food wise, until the end of the day...I even brought lunch with me to the bowling alley so I wouldn't be tempted to eat something fatty and fried from the snack bar while the kids enjoyed their pizza party. Arriving home, we saw the neighbors were having a St Patty's Day party and Michael went over to play with the other kids. He rushed home at dinnertime to see if he could eat there as well. Seeing as I had made a pot of spicy white bean soup, which he would've had zero enthusiasm for and plenty of criticism, I ushered him back out the door to enjoy golden Leprechaun chicken nuggets and I supped my soup in peace, happily engrossed in the Prisoner of Azkaban during this Harry Potter weekend.

Our realtor had called earlier in the morning to schedule a showing for that evening. I checked with the neighbors to see if Bug could hang out a little longer while the people came through, piled three dogs in the car and scooted to the end of our cul de sac--the perfect spot to eye spy on our visitors. They didn't stay long--with two little ones, the house is likely too small for what they need.

Back in the house and retuned to Harry, I hollered over at Bug to come home at eight. Church in the morning and he needed a shower before bedtime. These neighbors and their parties...Charlene sent him home with a "Bucket of Gold" (cutest little plant pot with a rainbow of pipe cleaners tied as a handle and filled with golden wrapped peanut butter cups and Ghiardelli eggs....) We sat in the kitchen as he divied up his stash, he shared his treasure with me--I love my Bug! So I shot the day sucking peanut butter out of chocoate cups, snuggied next to my sweet boy. What's a few extra calories in light of a precious moment like that?

I went to bed excited that I'd get to run in the morning--how I've missed that! I get to run today! And the chocolate is all gone...so...it should be a better caloric day anyway!

Moving On, Moving Forward

Today is the first of our good-byes. It is the youth league's bowling banquet. The kids all get to bowl just for fun this morning, then scarf down some pizza while the season's awards and trophies are all passed out. This was our second season at Family Bowlaway and we've made some pretty awesome friends there. Sadly, today will likely be the last time we'll see most of them. I love watching these kids bowl and how much they progress through the season...it's gonna be hard saying good-bye to all those sweet faces we've been hanging out with every fall through winter weekend for the past two years. Bringing the camera and taking lots of pictures--and, yeah, I've already been busy scoping out bowling alleys up in Massachusetts for Bug. Hoping to make it into a summer league for him if possible. It'll all depend on when and where we can get settled...

And, moving forward (hopefully!) on the fitness track. I managed a quick run yesterday without suffering the follow up headache (okay, I did down a few Aleve hoping to stave it off, and that seemed to work!) So that's excitingly hopeful for me--I can't imagine not being able to run anymore...I've written a new workout schedule up on my kitchen's dry erase board, still including my PT days but also adding a day of hiking/biking at Moraine now that Saturday bowling is over--yeah! Fun!! I am definitely looking forward to taking that hiking/biking up along the coast soon--making sure hubby invests in a bike rack that'll fit over the spare tire on the back of my Sportage this summer!

I am also planning to stick to my guns and be better about following the meal plans on Spark People now that I feel like I can exercise the way I want--mostly! Getting there!! Summer (and Hubby!!) is coming!! No more excuses. I've already written out my shopping list for the week from the Spark menus, so I will be prepared!!

Isn't that the beauty of Spring? The coming back to life? A fresh start? Rejuvenation. The video below is of a Pink Floyd song that really captured my heart back in a time when I had totally screwed up my life but was finally learning I could stand on my own two feet and start again. It popped in my head yesterday as I was thinking about finally beginning to feel better and hopeful again, so sharing it here...and heading into the shining sun =0)

To Try Again

So I took another little break from writing, but hopefully I'm back. Still healing from this surgery, and somehow my scar looks worse? And there's anger in the healing. And I didn't like the tone of my words, the direction I had headed. So I took a pause to reconsider. Thought about stopping all together, but I can't. Words well up and need to spill. Hopefully they'll spill more cautiously, considerately...less angry and whiny, more encouraging because we all need that encouragement. Not just from time to time but always, every minute, because this life is hard and the world is brutal, wanting to tear us down, leave us broken and battered, shattered in the dark. We all need hope and light and a reason to keep moving forward. To heal the bruises this life leaves. To try again.

So I'm trying again.

What's been going on? We've had a good run of showings now that the weather is warming up, so hopeful on that front. Physical therapy is going well but hard--it hurts! Sore this morning, but I suppose that's progress, right? No healing without the hurting. Hoping to get in a little run today. Busy packing. Michael's had a good week at school so we're heading to a fish fry tonight at a church down the street that I've heard is spectacular--I think that's my favorite part of Lent, Friday night fish...why can't we do that year round? Though that would take the joy out of it to make it so regular and mundane...fish again?? Yeah, okay...maybe not. Tucker celebrates his first birthday next week, the big lug! He's really grown into such a beautiful dog and so full of love and happiness! He is probably the happiest dog I think I've ever known, and that's really saying something after knowing Willow, though she is still the loviest dog I've ever known, by far. Oh! And I've been offered a little artwork job that's been inspiring and challenging...more on that later as we see how it goes!

And it's St. Patrick's Day this weekend. I'm not Irish, nor do I pretend to be, but for those who are and do--enjoy your green! And a little prayer from St Patrick for you as well:

The Prayer of St. Patrick

I arise today
Through the strength of heaven;
Light of the sun,
Splendor of fire,
Speed of lightning,
Swiftness of the wind,
Depth of the sea,
Stability of the earth,
Firmness of the rock.

I arise today
Through God's strength to pilot me;
God's might to uphold me,
God's wisdom to guide me,
God's eye to look before me,
God's ear to hear me,
God's word to speak for me,
God's hand to guard me,
God's way to lie before me,
God's shield to protect me,
God's hosts to save me
Afar and anear,
Alone or in a mulitude.

Christ shield me today
Against wounding
Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down,
Christ in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in the eye that sees me,
Christ in the ear that hears me.

I arise today
Through the mighty strength
Of the Lord of creation

Just a Little While Longer

Sweet Pea is my alarm clock these days. She's taken to sleeping on the couch again rather than in bed with Tucker and me. Tucker is too long and there are too many twisting, restless legs hogging space in blankets for a Basset to find peace. The couch is all hers, warm, soft and safe from long limbs shifting, turning her out.

I don't want to wake up in the mornings anymore. Don't feel the urgency to rush awake at three-thirty. The day is long enough. I just want to hide in the dark a little longer, stay wrapped in pillows, quilt, and dreams.

But four-thirty is long enough for Pea. I hear clicking of claws coming down the hall. Stomping of fat Basset paws beside the bed and soft grumpings urging me up, time to get up. Ruby snuffles softly and Tucker stretches long, rolls over, head cradled comfy in my knee. I hide from Pea, she's short, can't see to the top of the bed. But she stomps harder, grumps fussier, woofing impatient at me. I offer her a scratch, confessing conciousness. Finally shove back covers, morning kisses on Tucker's cheek and roll out of bed. Claws click happy down the hall, waiting patient at the back door, tail wagging Basset rump. Tucker plomps to the floor, just missing Ruby, who snorts and sighs, but won't get up. Not yet. She gets to sleep just a little while longer...

Hard

Angry. He's in New York, at a meet and greet, having drinks and hors d'oeuvres, texting me pictures of the food that's being served. I'm stagnant. Stuck waiting. Fighting with a tired, stubborn ten year old, all mouth, defiance and attitude. Ugly words screaming, unleashing burdened tension unfairly on each other. Tears course cheeks. Doors slam shut. Heart pounding fiercely in frustration.

I know it's not his fault. He's doing this for our family. But he's gotten to move on and we're still here. Always here, left behind to clean up after.

He's with his family. Going out having dinner and drinks with his sister, his daughter, while I make Chef Boyardee, watching Greys and Big Bang reruns, nagging child to eat, clean up his plate, throw his garbage away, time to get in the tub and WASH YOUR HAIR!! Every day...same aggravating fights. Same messes to clean up, battles to wage, rage.

If it were the other way around, if it was me to move first and him to follow, would he? Would he agree to this never ending waiting? Would he agree to hold this end together? To come after? Would he?

I'm not supposed to vent. I'm supposed to be strong, hold it all in and be patient. It just feels so heavy today. I need to put it down for a little bit. A rest. Just for a while...just for today.

Drowning

I look at my To Do List and I'm completely overwhelmed this morning. My physical therapy took up most of the morning yesterday, then I had to run for some quick groceries and pet supplies which sent me to Walmart, Aldi's, and the pet store. By the time I got home, it was time for lunch, then I still had the entire day's worth of chores waiting for me and, needless to say, I barely made it halfway through that list...and the second half is now added to today's list...and the remainder of the week isn't looking any lighter. Each day's calendar block filled to the borders with things that need to be done.

Then I'm reading Jonah and feeling the weight of obedience to the things God is calling me to do--and just what all is that? I know we've all heard that God doesn't give us more than we can handle and whatever it is that He brings us to, He gives us the strength to see it through. Why then am I feeling like I'm drowning today? Like it's all too much to bear on one set of shoulders?

The cleaning list seems endless. Kid care, pet care, I dare not even look at the yard and the mess that's been left by the windstorms we've had come through the past couple of weeks--not to mention the daily destruction wrought by Tucker. Empty boxes sit in the basement still broken down, waiting for me to begin packing. Packing...

I need to get to the vet's and pick up the dogs' heartworm preventative and I just placed an order for their flea and tick medicine, then Ruby and Sweet Pea are both due for their shots. I need to call the hospital about my surgery billing and the insurance company to find out why they didn't pay for my visit to the neurologist. Taxes are due. Bills just keep rolling in and piling up one on top of the other. Drowning...

Obedience...what more does He think I can do? I have one tiny set of tight, super stressed shoulders. The physical therapist recommends ice and relaxation--I laughed at that one...as if it were that simple. Relax--when, how? I'd love to know...

For now, blocking out the rest of the week and worrying about the list for today. The remaining days will come as they may. Take a deep breath and treading water...One list, one chore at a time. But first--a run...

Still Counting

Monday morning again and still counting my way to 1000 Gifts. It's been a roller coaster week, starting physical therapy amidst a puddle of hormones, and not realizing just how much it was going to actually hurt but forging through anyway and turning the corner to come out on the other side...Really starting to miss Bill and wishing this was all over. Bug finally back on track and being his good sweet self at school (I know Ms. Lutz must be thankful!) Enjoying lots of good company with friends this week and our boys finishing up their bowling season at the top of the league and looking forward to Roll Offs next weekend--way to go!!!

So here we go, #134-170...
#134 Jumping back in with both feet
#135 Breathtaking sunrise

#136 Clean sheets--aahhh...

#137 Spooning with Tucker

#138 Baby Bellas at Aldi's-I'm hooked!

#139 Silly mixed up bird words--Peek-a-peek!

#140 Filthy muddy dogs that exasperate and endear at the same time
#141 $10 gift card to Books-a-Million!
#142 Game of Thrones for $3.54!
#143 Bright sunshiney walk with Tucker
#144 PT in the company of an encouraging friend
#145 Warm spring rain
#146 Surprise goodie box from Oregon--thank you Em!

#147 Another postcard from Russia

#148 Friends who brighten spirits

#149 A husband I love with every bit of me

#150 Sweetest loving kid ever!

#151 Beautiful, huge frozen blackberries for breakfast

#152 A gentle run

#153 Baby Shark under covers with Bug

#154 Daffodils peeking (peek-a-peek!)

#155 Boy's love of brocolli

#156 Shopping day with Missy

#157 The perfect purple dress for Boston Harbor Dinner Cruise!

#158 Dinner with Bug for being so good all week at school and losing only one minute!

#159 Refreshing rain storm

#160 Our boys made the Roll Offs next week! Yay!

#161 Hugo Movie Night with friends and five crazy, wild boys

#162 Sweet puppy Heath kisses

#163 A new book and new series to read--thank you John!

#164 Pizza, popcorn, and pink fluff--yum!

#165 Not needing a pain pill to get to sleep

#166 Couch to 5k training again

#167 Morning flurries and thistles crusted white

#168 Doing PT exercises in spite of pain and feeling much better after

#169 Bug earned $28 for a week of being good at school, helping with chores, and reading two books (and I bought his BAM gift card...yay me!)

#170 Sunday morning lounging on the phone with my sweet hubby

Always thankful...

Movie Night

Last night we finally got to do something I've been wanting to do for a long time. Michael and I met Jenn and her two boys, JJ and Shane, at bowling the year before last. Then this past summer, we met Missy and her two boys, Bryce and Matthew, at Camp Lutherlyn. The more time we spent with each of these friends, the more I wanted to get all of us together as I thought Missy and Jenn would get along really well, and thought the boys would, too. What's more fun than a bunch of crazy boys getting to be all wild and loud together? Aside from quiet Mom times enjoying shopping and a nice hot latte, that is...

Whenever I suggested getting both families together to Michael, sadly he'd balk. He was so afraid JJ and Shane would buddy up with Bryce and Matthew and leave him in their new found friendship dust. No words I would say could convince him otherwise...so I finally quit pursuing this idea.

Until last week. Missy (again, so lost without you!!) had bought a copy of the newly released movie Hugo and suggested hosting a movie night and invited not only Michael and I, but Jenn's family as well--at last! I told Bug about our plans and he was all excited until I filled him in on the entire agenda of getting all the boys together. It took me a good hour of convincing him that this really was a good idea, that his friends would always love him and not abandon him, and that if he'd give it half a chance they could really have a whole lot of fun together. Finally he conceded...Movie Night was on--hooray!

So, last night at dinner time, we headed to Missy's for pizza, popcorn, and pink fluff (scrumptiously delicious dessert Jenn made with strawberries, yogurt and whipped cream! Aaaahhh...) We had seen JJ and Shane at bowling earlier in the morning and they were all excited about meeting Bryce and Matthew--and I think we all wondered how much movie watching would actually get accomplished with five wild boys running rampant through the house...Chaos and sword play ensued for a little while, then everyone settled down for a quick dinner. Once popcorn was made we lured the boys all back to the livingroom for movie time. Pillows and blankets piled in the middle of the floor as the wiggle worms settled in to watch the show.

The movie itself is beautifully done. We picked out all the characters who'd been in Harry Potter. Is it just me or do all the good movies seem to be British made lately? And as an added bonus, Johnny Depp, the movie's producer, also has a quick cameo--you know I love everything Johnny! For a two and a half hour flick, the boys all sat really well for the most part. Somehow I was still awake well past my bedtime, so the movie had to be good! I'd definitely watch that one again.

So new friendships were forged last night and I hope we can get this quintet out and about for more fun and adventures before Bug and I finally head north this year. Today we have Bug's Team Tournament at bowling with JJ and Shane--good luck to our boys! AND, a little Mama Bragging Moment--their team also made the Roll Offs this year, which is like their playoffs--way to go guys!! Such an awesome season!!

Saturday at last...

And what a week it's been. I started physical therapy on Wednesday. Had no idea it could hurt so much! I think I'm still in some sort of denial about the surgery, the extent of what I had done. I thought I could go into PT, figure out what little exercises I needed to do and tackle that course at home on my own. I like to be independent (aka invisible, unseen, unheard...) It's really hard for me to put myself into someone else's care. (Okay, I am a stay at home mom who is completely dependent on my husband's support...but I'm talking about other people here...)

When I received my script for PT, it listed massage as part of my treatment. I am not a massage type of person--I've said I'm afraid of people and the thought of anyone, especially a stranger, massaging me is crippling. So I thought I could skip that part and just do the strength training--I have weights at home, do strength training a lot. Yeah, uh no...And the massage is actually the most painful part. Not making me a fan at all...

Pile on top of this a mess of hormones, PMSing and blubbering over "What Dreams May Come" the other day, only to go to PT and the massage hurt so bad I cried (a few silent tears, nothing dramatic...) I'm tearing up just thinking about it now, partly out of embarrassment, too...and more hormones...stinks being a woman sometimes. But I have resigned myself to stick out the duration of the treatment now that I've realized I have quite a ways to go before I am fully healed. Sigh...

But, on the up side--Michael has finally settled down now that Grandma has gone home and life has returned to some semblance of normalcy once again, as I knew he would. He was on his best behavior at school all week and only lost one minute of recess yesterday, so I bought him a little fire rescue Lego kit and we went to Wendy's for fish sandwiches to celebrate (his request) Today is our last day of league bowling, though tomorrow is their team tournament. The banquet will be in a couple weeks and it saddens me to think we won't see these kids again. The first of many good-byes for us. Ugh--more tears...

Tonight we're going to our friends' for Movie Night to watch Hugo. A first get together of two of my closest friends' boys and Michael, so that should be a lot of fun. Michael is a little trepidatious as he thinks the other boys will all buddy up with each other and not want to include him in any future get togethers...poor Bug. I think I've passed along some of my anxiety issues to him, of all that I could give him--I've given him my worst.

And so I'm off--time to get ready for bowling. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Count Me Accountable First Thursday Check In

Well, happy March everyone! This year needs to put on the brakes and just slow down a little, please?? I think we're in for an early spring, which is only making things go all the more faster--where was my snow this year? A disappointing winter, I have to say...I look out back and I see daffodils bravely poking through pawprint packed muddy earth. Silly flowers...it's too soon and Tucker will surely trample them before they even have a chance to bloom. Sad...but not...Wondering what our new yard will be like? Will I have a flower bed safe from crushing, digging puppy feet? I was glad that I had decided not to go ahead and plant asparagus last year--it'd only be destroyed by my bouncing Boxer as he's completely torn down the entire garden fence and chewed up the posts, and I won't be here to reap any sort of harvest that might manage to survive Tucker in later years anyway. There's a reason for everything...

Okay, I'm hemhawing. This morning was my first weigh in and I'm not liking my scale at all. I might just have to leave it here when we move, the rotten, disagreeable piece of junk...It said I gained half a pound...really??? Sigh...Okay, MyFitnessPal may not be the program for me. Once you log in all your meals for the day and your exercise minutes, it tells you how many calories you have left for the day and how many more you've 'earned' from your fitness. So, in the back of my head, I have this little voice rationalizing that I can graze here and there--I have these calories left, it's fine, I'm good...Yeah, apparently it's not fine or good. Then the stupid Girl Scout cookies I ordered at bowling arrived last Saturday...fortunately they're almost gone. Ugh...next week I must do better.

I started physical therapy yesterday after a mild panic attack that morning--I didn't want to go. The older I get, I am seriously becoming more agoraphobic and anthropophobic (fear of people--I want to call that homophobia but in the context of homo sapiens, not homosexuals...it's easier to say than anthropophobia, easier to spell too...) Or maybe it's neophobia...being afraid of new situations, places, or things. I am literally terrified of new situations and meeting new people. I had to take an Ativan to settle myself down as my husband and my friend, Missy, tried to talk some sense into me. Once medicated, I sucked it up and went. Miraculously I survived. No one killed me--whew! This is good since I have to go back today...

But, I'm not beating myself up over my lack of weight loss success this week since I'm still not able to exercise to my full potential. Okay, I don't need to eat every last calorie I have coming to me--that I can get under control...once those vile and evil Thin Mints are out of the house...And in a few more weeks I can start running again...patiently, patiently...I know I'll get there. It's all good. Stupid scale.