Friday, December 2, 2011


I find myself waking up at three a.m. again this week, which hasn't been too bad until this morning. I'm feeling it in my back and a light fuzziness in my brain. It's been a busy week. Advent suppers began at church Wednesday night and we stayed for the Holden prayer service after. Yesterday morning I popped up to the vet's with a stool sample for Tucker, then running late, headed straight to the women's Bible study at church. I realized once I got home, I completely forgot to defrost the chicken for dinner and was about to run out the door again to buy something else to make and then scoot over to the doctor's office to pick up the paperwork for hubby's cholesterol bloodwork again, when my WonderGuy called and suggested fish stick sammiches instead (I love him!) I can run to the doctor's after Walmart and Aldi's this morning. Tonight is a Thirty-One Gifts party at my friend, Jen's house. Me, out three nights in a row!! It's unheard of! And I'm feeling it...the girl is getting's not get too carried away, 'kay?

So the past few mornings, my eyes peep open as I struggle to turn over from under Tucker's weight (yes, he not only sleeps with me but usually on me, which will be great as the nights get colder! he's too heavy to shove off of you, and still not done growing...) I squint at the clock on the nightstand, a glowing green 2:58 lighting up the face. Soft sigh escapes the I get up or try to go back to sleep? Well, once the questions begin, it's pretty much over. One gives way to another, which, in turn, contemplates several scenarios and sparks more inner silent conversations...If I get up now, I have more time to write and read and draw before it's time to eat and then work out and I might even have time to get in the shower before taking Michael to the bus and do I have to go to Walmart today? Do I have dinner stuff in the fridge? What day is this? Is it payday? Which payday? Is it mortgage pay or car payment pay? Will there be enough to cover the vet on Tuesday? Am I running today or is it Zumba? Which do I want to do? What can I have for breakfast, cereal or yogurt or a peanut butter bagel? And mind you, I haven't even lifted the covers yet, Tucker still half sprawled across my twisted legs and Ruby snoring softly below us. I know once I move, the dogs will wake and want out and it's really cold out on the back porch so there's no going back, as if there was even a remote possibility of trying to sleep more at this point anyway...So, I scratch Tucker's soft warm cheek, tug a velvety ear, and scooch up to kiss his fuzzy forehead. He stretches long legs, then curls and arches back, cat like, waiting for the thought of morning treats to motivate his sleepy self from his toasty cozy nest on the bed. Ruby stirs but only to roll over. She won't get up until the treats actually come out. Too cold for arthritic bones to cooperate so early in the morning.

I suppose I need to reconfigure my morning schedule. My brain wants to prioritize the day's tasks and I could hyperventilate as I think about everything I want and need to do and now I have to hurry up and get it all done and I know I can't and then I get frustrated and feelings of failure leak in and the day's hardly even under way. I start to make sacrifice's in the day's to-do list and too often recently one of the first things to go has been my work out. That's simply not working for me. I'm trying to get my writing done, then Michael's awake and the TV's on, and he wants breakfast and I'm nagging him to get ready for school before I look at the clock myself and I need to get in the shower if I'm going to make it to Walmart before the rest of Butler and surrounding counties are there clogging the aisles (and it's twenty times worse now that it's Christmas shopping season! Where do these people come from??) Then if I don't write in the morning, my brain is buzzing with "I need to write! I need to write!" until I sit my butt down and get the day's blog post done--but is it so bad if I wait until the afternoon? I can't see that it is....other than my OCD brain going off relentlessly until I've actually got it written. I just need to get myself down to the basement and back into some sort of fitness routine again. Writing simply doesn't burn enough calories, people!

So, my morning readers, if the posts start running a little later, fear not, they'll be there at some point during the day. Or you could always catch today's late post in tomorrow morning's feed...I just want to say thank you for reading and hanging in there with me! Hey, it's Friday folks!! I hope you have a great weekend!

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