Thursday, November 3, 2011

Chasing the Clock

I'm having one of those mornings (and the fact that it is now well after lunch and I'm still stuck in the 'morning' ought to be an indicator of just what a morning it's been...) I woke up late, which set me behind a good hour and a half already. I didn't sleep well, my brain was too busy thinking most of the night. When we stopped at the ATM yesterday to take out the money for Tucker's crate, the transaction receipt showed a much lower account balance than what should have been in there. That set me off for the rest of the day and into my night. I kept recounting the math in my mind, which is not my strong suit in the first place even on the best of days, and I tried to reassure myself there was a simple explanation; there was enough money to see us through the end of the week until payday--after all, what did we need? Milk, chewies for the dogs, and dental floss. Ingredients for dinner were already waiting in the fridge and pantry, lunches packed...Still, my OCD brain was not willing to let this discrepancy go without a fight and a thorough investigation of the account statement to see just where the mix up came from. So I tossed and turned most of the night, fretting subconsciously, then somehow fell asleep enough to oversleep...augh! Not how I needed to start my day!

So, once I got through my morning Bible reading and devotionals (late or not, I'm simply unwilling to compound an already bad start by neglecting the one thing that grounds me in some semblance of peace for the day!) I pulled up the checking account online and looked to see if I could spot any unfamiliar charges or something I might have missed, but nothing really stood out to me. I'd have to wait to check it on the desktop against the register in Quicken. Then, realizing I had two months of statements that I somehow never bothered to reconcile, I set about taking care of that (another good half hour of the morning gone...) and found my discrepancy from sadly two months ago! How I managed not to bounce any checks over that course of time is nothing short of a miracle! Transferred a little from savings to make up the difference and at least wiped that anxiety off the morning's board.

Well, now I'm running two hours behind at this point. Choices stacked up in front of me, which way do I want to take my day? Do I work out and miss the morning Bible study at church or rush through the shower before I had to get Michael to the bus and pray I had enough time to do something with my hair and face before racing like mad to make it to church on time? I don't know about you, but 'racing' through anything in the morning is absolutely my least favorite option. And, I've been so off with my work out schedule the past few weeks from having a broken toe and non-conducive mood swings, add to that facing the giant bowl of Halloween candy in the kitchen every day now, the clear choice would be to eat a healthy breakfast, get Bug to the bus and haul my ever increasing butt to the basement for a couple sets of circuits and a round of Zumba. Then shower, fluff, and a quick trip to my home away from home, Walmart!, before back to feed the birds, let them out for a little play time and hopefully manage to get a handful of chores done and some raking while the weather's still dry....Whew...I'm still trying to catch my breath!

I don't know if I've done myself much of a favor starting this new 'daily habit tracking' chart for November. Today it just feels like added pressure to squeeze in as many accomplishments as I possibly can on top of starting the day frazzled. But, if I can remember it's simply a guideline and not really a requirement, that it's to keep me moving in a positive direction rather than sitting stagnant, then perhaps there's hope. If I can remember to remove fingers from keyboard and fold them in my lap for a moment, closing my eyes and inhale deeply while breathing "Jehovah Shalom" a few times, my racing heart will slow, the knot in my shoulders will loosen, and the corners of my lips curl up in a smile. The Lord is Peace.

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