Time for Today

I don't want to write today. There's so much jumbled up in my head facing the coming week, words all tripping, tangled. I will likely be taking a break for the next few days since I'm not sure if I'll bring the laptop with me to the hospital and I'd rather not try to blog on my tablet. Swype is fine for quick notes, not meandering paragraphs.

Surgery is at noon tomorrow. Bill flew home yesterday. Mom will arrive late tomorrow afternoon. I'm trying not to think about it, pushing it back out of the brain. Denial...

I want to shop. I used to be an emotional smoker. Squashing worries and anger and frustrations with cigarettes. Since I quit almost seven years ago, I waver between emotional eating and emotional shopping. Shopping is better than eating--at least it doesn't end up on your thighs. I want to shop. Buy pens and books and jammies for the hospital. Comfort in toys, things. Have you seen the commercial for Papermate's Ink Joy?? I need....I need....

I busy myself with packing, planning. Lists for home, lists for the hospital, rearranging my reading list, adding to the grocery list. Obsessing obscures worry.

Today will be errands and cleaning. Mess management to meet Mother approval. Super Bowl watching. Time snuggying with hubby, Bug, and puppies. Tomorrow will be here all too quickly.