My Strong Tower

It’s clear to me this morning that I am engaged in the midst of spiritual warfare. Everything lately is swirling around me, conspiring to pull me down, to make me want to throw up my hands and quit. Daggers from the enemy pierce my heart, my mind, and my soul as I fight to stand firm and hold fast against this storm.  I feel utterly broken, defeated, and at such a loss…

Ruby’s sick, Tucker’s sick, my brother’s sick, there has been a death in the family, household expenses have skyrocketed, Michael’s been horrendously badly behaved at home, then ended up in the emergency room last night, only to come home to continue his awful behavior-hurting Tucker again and lying to me about it. Even the birds—Mama Crash bit Squiggy’s toe yesterday morning, hard enough to make him bleed. I contemplated my baby bird’s blood on my shirt last night as I sat in the hospital waiting for Michael to have xrays taken of his arm. Everything seems so out of control.

It all feels like some unbearable weight, hanging around my neck, pulling me down, threatening to  break my back along with my spirit. Bill and I struggle to come together in agreement on disciplining Michael and are so frustrated. We both feel as though it’s creating a wedge in our marriage.

But, I’m not giving up. I won’t just throw in the towel and quit. This will not defeat me. I turn to my Father, who gives me strength and hope.

The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer;

my God, my strong rock, in Him will I trust;

my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower.

~Psalm 18:2